faith! - Jim & Debbie Lawler
Couple’s outreach efforts rooted in love for neighbors from both near and far.
Jim and Debbie Lawler believe in living a faith that takes them out into the world – one of the many reasons St. Martin’s work with the Circle of Welcome program is such a perfect fit for the couple.
The program pairs churches with refugee families striving to create a new life for themselves in the United States. Churches and families work together for six-month assignments overseen by Lutheran Family Services of the Carolinas in conjunction with the U.S. State Department.
You could say that Jim, 70, and Debbie, 68, have been living their faith this way for many years.
After the Lawlers were married in the late 1970s, they spent two years working in Botswana with the Peace Corps. They have also been participants in the Partners of the Americas program and HomeWorks, a faith-driven, home repair ministry here closer to home. “We look for the sorts of things a church is doing outside of the church … out in the community,” Jim said.
Members of St. Martin’s for two years, the couple agreed to help lead the Circle of Welcome effort here as the parish moved out of COVID restrictions and into a more active life again.
For Debbie, the desire was rooted in her past experiences as well as her personal concerns about the country’s immigration issues. She found herself wondering often about what it would take for a family to leave everything it had ever known and move to a country where nothing was familiar -- not the language you spoke, the way your children attended school or the foods you purchased to cook. “How bad would your life have to be?” she wondered.
As Debbie considered these problems and the role she could play in them, she said she didn’t see how she could make a significant difference at the Southern border because she lives here. But a program that would allow her to help people in Columbia? That she could do. So when Associate Rector Caitlyn Keith talked to them about the Circle of Welcome, “this just seemed like a do-able way to make a difference,” she said.
In the Circle of Welcome program, parishioners receive training prior to a family’s arrival and then can help in one of two tracks – hands-on involvement (which requires slightly more training), or in a more behind-the-scenes way by providing things a family needs as they settle into life in Columbia. That might be clothing, furniture, dishes or other needs that arise.
St. Martin’s members have been extremely generous since the program started here, the Lawlers said. “People are just amazing – so supportive and so generous,” Debbie said.
“Now that we’ve been through it, we know it’s going to work. That someone will step up as a need arises,” Jim said.
Hands-on roles involve tasks such as helping family members learn English, partnering with them as they run errands or cooking lessons – a particular favorite of Debbie’s.
The first family St. Martin’s worked with last year was from Syria. The parents were in their late 20s and early 30s and spoke no English. Their reading and writing skills were also minimal, but when Debbie and other members of the parish spent time with the mother in the kitchen, barriers fell away.
“The mother was an extremely good cook. I learned how to make stuffed grape leaves that were the best I’ve ever tasted in my life,” she said.
The learning goes both ways in experiences such as cooking … and in many other tasks as well. “You’re reminded of the fact that things that are important to us are important to everyone,” Debbie said. “We’re just not that different.”
The goal, Jim said, is to help families become self-sufficient. The challenge is to resist the urge to rush in and fix problems they may be having. instead, he explained, “you want to work with them to fix it. That is hard for a lot of us,” but necessary. “The main objective is to help them become independent.”
The church is currently working with two sisters from Honduras who have five children between them. Both women are single mothers. A third sister and her children are working with another Circle of Welcome.
These women are highly motivated and already taking the lead in tasks such as going to the grocery store on their own, Debbie said. She believes it has been a bit easier for them than the Syrian family because Spanish is more familiar here than Arabic is.
The parish’s commitment to the current family runs through July, leaving plenty of time to still get involved. Anyone interested in taking part should reach out to Jim and Debbie. Debbie spends several hours a week with the family, but that is not required.
She might visit with the mothers and help answer their questions or play with the children in ways that help them learn more English. “Your phone is your best friend,” she said, noting how much it helps with translating.
In addition to getting to know the Circle of Welcome families, Jim and Debbie are also getting to know people at St. Martin’s.
Jim and Debbie found their way to the Episcopal Church 12 years ago after deciding it was time to make a break from the Roman Catholic Church in which they had been married and raised their son and daughter, now 37 and 40, respectively.
The Catholic faith’s struggles with its management of its sexual abuse issue and its unwillingness to recognize the role women can have in the priesthood contributed to the Lawlers’ decision to become Episcopalians. They also found it disheartening that people could be turned away from Communion in the Catholic church if they had not been baptized Roman Catholic.
That is one of the many reasons they love not just the Episcopal Church, but St. Martin’s in particular. “Everyone is welcome here and you feel it,” Jim said. “We just love the positive energy here.”
For more about Circle of Welcome:
• Contact Jim or Debbie Lawler at dleight7377@yahoo.com.
• Visit lscarolinas.net
• Join the Circle of Welcome group in the St. Martin’s App.
